Hear me out.
Self-care isn’t the same for everyone.
Self-care is self-love: it means to love ourselves through our actions, words and thoughts.
I’m a believer in living "selfishly" because if we are unable to love ourselves, how can we expect others to love us?
If we do not take time to prioritize ourselves, how do we expect to attract those who will?
If we constantly give excuses and justify ourselves for our actions, it means we don’t accept ourselves in return.
When we are too engaged in The Doing” Game of always using excuses like “I got stuck in traffic and gosh this guy was so slow in front of me on the road” or “My kids don’t understand it when we are in a hurry which is why I'm late!”, to name simple examples, we give right to Time to rule our day.
What if we overruled Time?
Because one thing you have to know is that Time is an illusion. We have allowed it to succumb our life and submerge in it.
You might say: “But we have no choice.” And I say… it depends on how you see Time and how you can use what you think of It.
Have you ever heard that taking time for yourself will actually stretch out Time? This is true. Hear me out.
If you take even 5 minutes to connect with your breath, with the present moment, away from worry and only what is real for you in a specific moment, you allow your mind to feel safe in a state of worryless-ness. This means that, by waking up 5, 10, 15 or more minutes before the time you are used to, and by calming down your nervous system, you might not feel such pressure of having to be “on time” for work and might stop not-accepting yourself and thus justifying yourself. If you don't want to wake up earlier, maybe it means switching what you normally do for 5, 10 or 15 minutes and connect within instead.
Nothing changes if nothing changes ok?
Doing this will help your body feel into the knowing that you are safe and that calm is your natural state. You won’t be yearning to fight internally for not wanting to be judged for being late at work, for example.
You know, and I say this with the most love possible… it’s not always about you.
If you care so much about being on time, you will be. If you care so much about yourself and your wellbeing, you will love yourself and you will emanate an energy that is contagious and you will stop justifying yourself because you. won’t. need. to. Especially because, the more you complain, compare and justify yourself, the more you give others the right to do the same about you.
I hope this makes sense.
To help you understand where you are in relation to self-care, below are some question you can use to reflect on.
What if you stopped justifying yourself? Would others’ response towards you be different? This means, if you accepted yourself through the forgetfulness and the disorder, or through the trials and errors, would they?
What if you allowed yourself to believe that they would accept you and stop caring what they think?
Do you believe you are worthy of self-care and time for yourself?
If you do, have you taken time to fill yourself up with what makes you feel good, with what allows you to be in joy and freedom daily?
If not, why not? What is blocking you from taking even 5 minutes a day for yourself? And is that reason the truth?
* At least 15 minutes of meditation each day during which I tune inwards and allow my whole system to connect with the Truth of my calm being
* Yoga asanas or walking with my dog to feel connected to myself through movements of my body and connection with nature
* Chanting to fill my mind with pure thoughts of different names of God and allow my connection to the Divine Positive Energy Source to happen more automatically throughout the day
* I repeat and write affirmations such as I am powerful, I love myself, I am worthy of self-care time.
* I take bath tubs... yes with a piece of chocolate ;)
* Sometimes chilling on the couch and watching Netflix with my boyfriend
* Making love
* Using essential oils and smelling the beauty in their aroma
* Spending time with friends with whom I can engage in real deep conversations away from judgement and surface talks like what others are doing or what clothes are in style
* Taking breaks during work days and really taking some breaths in the present moment instead of letting my thoughts take me far out into worry or the “doing” mode.
I’d love to hear how what you do for self-care or what you will do for self-care care soon by replying to this blog post.
Have a beautiful rest of your day filled with calmness and inner joy.